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Below are some commonly used methods of life support, along with a values statement you can use to help clarify your own thinking. (We do not support one decision over another. We offer these simply as a way to help you think about the issues and put your own feelings into words.)

At tax time, our thoughts naturally turn toward deductions. What might count as a medical expense for your ill older relative? With elders, there's a fine line between health care and personal care. Perhaps your loved one needs some help getting up from a chair. Or perhaps he or she can no longer put together a meal. These situations create safety and health risks. But medical deductions typically cover only the costs of highly skilled providers. Personal tasks such as these don’t require a registered nurse!

Sleep patterns change as we age. Older adults need just as much sleep as ever. But they often have difficulty falling asleep and staying asleep at night. And even with a full night’s sleep, many elders don’t feel refreshed in the morning. That’s because they don’t get enough time in the deep sleep stage of the sleep cycle. Most elders find ways to cope with these normal changes. Cutting back on caffeine and taking a 30-minute midafternoon nap are recommended remedies. Sometimes problems sleeping are linked to temporary stress or a disturbing event. These go away over time.

"On your mark! Get set! Wait!" That is the experience, and in fact the best strategy, when trying to convince an older relative to move to assisted living. You may feel sure your mom or dad needs extra help, but they may not agree. This is a common dilemma. For instance, you may have noticed your loved one